THINGS TO DO..

while your wife is having a bi-lateral mastectomy.

By TEAM ANISSA

October 3^rd, 2014

WEEK 11 – SURGERY DAY – Part II

October 2, 2014

Anissa made her way to surgery and I made my way back downstairs to Maddie’s room. I checked in at the volunteer station and they marked my location on a magnetic board showing the layout of the room. This would help them know where I was sitting when the call from the operating room nurse came in. I was also given a pager to keep with me while Anissa was in surgery. The pager was like the one you get at a chain restaurant when they want to let you know your table is ready. So long as I was within the footprint of the hospital, they could contact me.

Soon after finding a spot in Maddie’s room, I was handed a cordless phone from the volunteer I checked in with earlier. The nurse in the operating room called to let me know the procedure had begun, everything was going well and that I would have another update once Dr. Chang had completed her part. I spent the next 3 hours catching up on e-mails, texts and messages from an overwhelming number of concerned friends and family. Reading these notes of support was cathartic. I had been doing my best to keep it together for the past 48 hours for Anissa. Far from view of my wife, I ultimately lost it and sat there just sobbing while I read these notes of support.

A few weeks prior Anissa’s Uncle Ed wanted to know the time of surgery and said he’d come down to UCLA and wait with me. Anissa and I joked that he really didn’t need to do that since she’s going to be in surgery and I’m just gonna be waiting. Not only did Ed come to the hospital, but her Aunt Judy, my brother-in-law, Rob, and his girlfriend Cristina all showed up mid-morning. It wasn’t until they arrived that I realized how much I needed them there.

Ed and Judy were the first to arrive and meet me in Maddie’s room. After some hugs and some tears we made our way to the cafeteria where we ended up meeting with Rob and Cristina along the way. We all spent the next few hours just sitting in the cafeteria over a few coffees – laughing… a lot. I’ll risk making a few enemies within my family with this next statement – but these four are probably the funniest people I consider myself lucky enough to be related to and I couldn’t have asked for a better group to be with me while I waited while Anissa was upstairs in surgery. Each one of them, in their own unique, dark, and disturbed way have just the right amount of an inappropriate sense of humor. For example, when I told one of them about Anissa’s diagnosis for the first time – the response I got was “Should I start the caring bridge page now?… Too soon?” So, that should give you an idea of what I was dealing with.

While sitting there, I received two calls on my cel phone within 40 minutes of each other. The first was Dr. Chang. She called to let me know her part of the surgery went well and that it was now up to Dr. F. to finish up. The second call was from Dr. F – again letting me know the surgery was pretty uneventful and fairly textbook. Of course they were calling with good news… bad news they come and tell you in person. I was told Anissa was in the recovery area and I should hear about her being placed in a room in about one hour.

Around 2:00pm my “Fuddrucker’s-your-table-is-ready” pager lit up and began vibrating. From the cafeteria we headed over to Maddie’s room and received the message that Anissa would soon be leaving Recovery and making her way to her room. There was a good chance that I would be her to the room if I went up straight there. All five of us headed up to the 6th floor. Everyone stayed in a waiting room just off the ward and outside the elevators while I headed over to Anissa’s room. Like they said I would, I beat her there. I dropped some of our bags in the room and walked out to the hallway where I saw Anissa being rolled toward me.