Be Kind

...for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

By TEAM ANISSA

September 22^nd, 2014

WEEK 10

September 22, 2014

People greet you differently when they know your wife has cancer. It’s no longer, “Hey, how’s it going?”, or “Hey, what’s up?” Instead, you are greeted with sympathetic eyes followed by a sincere, “How are you holding up?” In Anissa’s case, if they do know, but they heard it through the grapevine, she’s usually met with a very concerned “How are you?” – to which Anissa usually responds, “You heard, huh?” Regardless of the way it’s broached, it’s always sincere. We know some people aren’t comfortable talking about it – hell, at times we’re still not comfortable talking about it!

As simple, honest and sincere as these questions might be – they are probably the most difficult to answer. Give me a direct question and I’ll give you a direct answer. Better yet, just ask questions that only require a “yes” or “no” answer! These days, vague or overarching questions usually prompt me to think about everything while I reach for a response and that’s when the emotions kick in.

This is the second week of the “waiting” period before Anissa’s surgery. This time is both a blessing and a curse. Sure, it’s given us plenty of time to prep and plan, but it’s also provided us with time to reflect on everything that’s taken place so far and breathe a little… before we have to stop breathing again. It’s given us time to play out and process the potential “what ifs” and begin to discuss the plan for the kids and who will help and when.

This has been the most emotional week of all so far for the two of us. We’ve probably laughed the hardest we have in months and possibly cried even harder this week. I haven’t been this emotional since finding out Anissa was pregnant… I’ll admit it, I cried while watching “The Rookie” when Anissa was pregnant with Isabella.

Music has always helped me define main points in my life. I’ve been more into my music these days too. In my head there’s a soundtrack to this experience with George Harrison scoring the whole show. I don’t even make it past the guitar intro to “Here Comes the Sun” without filling up. Any acoustic version of a Harrison track will engender tears to stream. Toss in a song relating to the relationship between parent and child and well, I can’t be responsible for what happens next.

We have been overwhelmed with kindness and support from our friends, family and the school community. I was looking at the calendar the other day and realized Anissa will not be able to attend many of the kids softball, baseball or basketball games while she’s recovering. Later that same day I received an e-mail from a friend asking if she could get breast cancer ribbon stickers to be placed on the helmets of Isabella’s teammates to show support. As I responded to that email I flat out wept. The visual that came to mind of all these girls with stickers on their helmets – supporting both Isabella and Anissa – made me just lose it – tears filled with gratitude and appreciation.

Moments like that and a few others this week remind me just how very lucky we are to have such an incredible and supportive community of friends and family. It also reminded me of the saying, “Be kind; for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” It’s beyond true. No matter how big or small – there are battles being fought.

Isabella had an art project due this week and the theme was “kindness”. She drew inspiration from this quote as well. I can’t wait to see the finished product.

Next week the fun really begins (that was sarcasm). Until then, we remain strong, positive, thankful and filled with gratitude for everyone who has reached out in support of Anissa.